My boyfriend has blue hair now

It’s a coloring wax that comes from a pot he had sent from Japan. The English instructions are a mess, but it’s hair wax. You finger, you rub, you rub. And so now my boyfriend has blue hair.

He washes the blue off in the shower before going to bed so he won’t stain the pillows, because he’s sensible and practical (even when he rubs blue wax from Japan on his hair).

But before that he sits at the kitchen table, typing on his laptop, and I look at him and think how odd.

I used to fry my hair with colorants and I had blue hair for fifteen minutes, a million years ago, when I was a mess in London and didn’t know what to do with myself.

And then that stopped. I wanted to fit in so that I could afford to be free eventually, and instead, the half of me that craved conventionality toppled over the half that needed to do whatever the fuck I wanted and wear the consequences on my chest like a military medal. And I don’t know how to calibrate it now, any more than I know how to desalt soup.

Everything feels too tidy, I’m too punctual. I wanted to be reliable in order to hold on to what I needed and now I am, but look what’s happened.

I want things, still.

I want to have an odious, impractical little car with no heating in the winter, something like a Fiat 127, absurd like the iron spiral staircase in my loft which starts and ends inches away from a frosted glass wall. A wall someone is bound to smash through sooner or later —  because sooner or later people slip on staircases.

I want to stop pushing text around a google doc like it’s an uneaten piece of cauliflower on a plate.

I want to rewind life and do it exactly the same way, but better.

I want to cry for a reason again.

I want to want to have blue hair.

You know what I mean?

8 thoughts on “My boyfriend has blue hair now”

  1. Loved this. I have always had dark hair and aside from a very embarrassing attempt at turning my hair blond with peroxide at school (it went orange instead) I have dyed my hair anything but back to its original colour and even that has been infrequent. My daughter is into all of this though and even though her hair is dark, she also tries to run colours through it such as pink, blue and green.
    We love going into a big makeup store called Sephora where you can play around with a multitude of colour and emerge like a colourful butterfly with tester up and down our arms. We both love this bright cobalt blue lipstick.
    Anyway, thought you might enjoy reading about our last trip:
    Best wishes,


  2. I want blue hair too maybe not completely blue but yeah streaks how do think blue would go with black hair?


  3. Oh to be young again! Or at least young-ish! Except it was black hair. So jet black it was almost blue. Until it faded to a deep brown red. And then was cut off! Now I just stare in the mirror and wonder when my stylist started putting in all the gray. Maybe blue wouldn’t be so bad…


  4. I guess sometimes it makes more sense to not be as sensible. To just be how we used to be and to want stuff without a practical reason behind it. Amazing! 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s