A physical and mental picture of Catherine Deneuve crushed by the weight of another inconsequential award

deneuve

Thank you, thank you very much. Thank you. So kind. Thank you.

 Oh là là, look at them clap

Thank you.

My God stop clapping

You know, the first time… thank you… the first time I came to Prague, I was perhaps a young woman, and I was captivated by the beauty of your city. By the buildings, and the cobbled streets, but mostly by the spirit of art, and creativity, which I could see everywhere in Prague, even as a young actress

Ah, putain, que c’est lourd! What is this merde made of, osmium? Osmium has twice the density of lead, can you believe it. Where did I read that. Jesus fucking Christ. And so big. It’s going in the garage

and to be now back in Prague today, as perhaps not so young a woman, heh heh… thank you… thank you… I love you too… to be back here today with all of you, receiving this award, is just such an incredible honor

but I don’t have a garage. I live in the Rive Gauche. I should have a garage, though, just so I’d have somewhere to put all this ferraille, this jonque

and to all of you here at the Prague International Film Festival, the judges and the organizers and the distinguished audience, I just want to say thank you, thank you for the work that you all do, and the part each of you play in bringing out the imagination that we all carry within us and giving it a platform to thrive and play

mais qu’est que c’est, even? It’s an abstract angel. It’s a turd with wings. There isn’t one single living room on the planet where this would look good

because cinema is, I think, in many ways, mankind’s highest expression of its desire to play, and create, and narrate, and even reshape our reality

maybe I can sell it. I wonder how much I could get for it at Les Puces

and there’s nothing more human than the impulse to reshape the world in which we live in, and make it better, and more beautiful, and if we may be so bold, even more interesting than it already appears to us

or eBay. But does the seller have to arrange the shipping, or the buyer? Where am I supposed to find a box? Fuck this, I’m not dealing with the French post office. I think I’ll leave it in the bathroom here and pretend I forgot it

and I will finish now, because I know you are all very looking forward to seeing tonight’s movie, which is a beautiful masterpiece by the great Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris, and it’s a perfect example of cinema giving a platform to people to inspire others through art

pull yourself together. After cet petit faux pas about that silly Hollywood harassment business you can’t bloody afford another misstep so don’t fuck this up

and so I just want to say thank you again, from the bottom of my soul, for this beautiful award which I will cherish forever. Thank you. Thank you.

Fuck. My arms. Fuck fuck fuck fuckfuckfuckfuck